My dug's teddy comes out for Alibi!
The dug says, "the teddy is persuaded that a Mr Salmon will, singlehandedly, improve the life of a Mr Salmon by getting elected.
It is convinced that the mUrAlS (spelled Murrells) are a huge block to Mr Salmon being elected, so supports all of the ire focussed at the mUrAlS by the bloggers and twitteratti at other angry bloggers and twitter users with less followers. The bloggers shouting angry stuff at each other is the kind of comms I like to see. Inclusive, and world changing.
The teddy is puzzled that no one else is talking about the mUrAlS. It's a huge issue with the bloggers.
It feels that there is a world wide feminist / gay conspiracy against great men and children. Just look at Craig Murray and how he is being crucified for us. Who will carry that man's cross? Or look at the words that have been highlighted in documents. Words highlighted are important, and tell us the story we need to help us fight all of the pEaDoS everywhere. They can be said in any order when they are highlighted in yellow, and can mean everything the Alibis feel they say. Yellow highlighter is best, as it reminds us of important men in luminous jackets, doing important things, like digging holes and crowd control at angry demos against aRe fReEdUm. Luminous yellow against the PeAdOs and for digging important holes!
It believes Stugoen vs Salmon is the most important issue in the lives of vulnerable people, and that aRe KiNg Robert the bRuCey is much more important than the waspi women and queues at foodbanks, and only two of these people care about the fact that pEaDoS are wanting sex with ten year olds made legal, though one of them died nearly a millenia ago.
aRe KiNg Robert the bRuCey against monarchy!
The stuffed toy believes that a vote for the S-M-P means you really arent for independence and in fact, you are a tory. It might be a pro-independence party, but there is nothing in its past that proves that it really, really wants independence like Alibi wants.
It might really want it. But we really, REALLY want it.
One more really shows our commitment. It's a BIGGER commitment. (It's one more really, if you haven't noticed). We, the Extra Really for Indy folk are the one true indy folk. Extra Alibi's rOoLz!
It believes a vote for the Grenes is an extra vote for Westminster. Why? Well, Grenes rarely ever say, "really, really."
Did I mention tHe PeAdOs?
Also, in its commitment to employment, it believes that there needs to be a pants checker at all toilets, to ensure that the proper "bits" use the toilets those bits belong in.
And in fact wants to go further by replacing the gender representations on the doors of toilets with a bunch of grapes and a blossoming flower, to clearly indicate appropriate bits in toilets.
But then bits in toilets are perhaps an unnecessary thing, and if possible, bits should be kept out of toilets. Alba perhaps, needs to de-platform bits.
Ma, teddy feels that a majority of pro-independence parties is not enough to stop the pEaDoS or the men haters, and their bits and that a super majority is needed. Or a super dooper majority, or a Barney Majority (a super-dee-duper majority).
However, I want to remind people that ma teddy is a stuffed toy, who is easily led away from the real issues that count, like poverty, inequality, NHS, the climate, employment, schools, infrastructure, pensions, racism, sexism... "