Grief.

I wrote this on my Facebook page a week ago.

"I've struggled since February. I've felt like someone ill, hurt, and the thoughts, regrets, wheels in my head really don't stop. Ive struggled, tried, to get back "in the game."

I kind of feel foolish now, that I thought I'd be able to go back to some sort of normality a fortnight after dad died. 

The best way I can describe how it's been is like someone wounded trying to stand up, but continually falling to the ground as my legs give way once again.

But today, I've pushed myself up again. I've walked the dog, had breakfast, caught up with the news, washed dishes and I'm about to go out cycling.

I watched or read something in which Michael Rosen drew himself grieving the death of his son. He drew a smiling face... Because that is the face he presented to the world. Here's mine."