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Thursday, 4 December 2014
Baiting our poorest on Black Friday
Thursday, 16 October 2014
The Drink...
Thursday, 7 August 2014
The Pound in your Scottish Pocket...
And pocketing your cash.
Your pound.
That was once in your pocket.
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Stealthily stealing your pound: Scottish New Labour Leader, Johann Lamont. |
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Thatcher... planting the seeds fertilized by Blair, Brown and Darling and now brought to fruition by Cameron. |
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Scottish New Labour MP, Margaret Curran who want's to stop Scotland from having the Barnett Formula payments from Westminster - your pounds - no longer in your pockets |
Thursday, 31 July 2014
Tales of the Gareloch...
If you haven't already, go listen to a wee "black comedy" I wrote, and Acting strange brought to life as a radio play.
It started life as a "soap" and as I wrote, it developed into something a wee bit different. The characters are all based on my experiences and on some people I have met and know, though the actors took some of them in a completely different direction!
If you like "Still Game," some of the scenes are a wee bit on to that, with a slight tinge of bloody murder, and bad language.
What would happen at Faslane if after a Yes, the nukes stay?
A story of camping, tennents lager, gimps and uht milk.
Remember to leave a comment!
theme music by the brilliant Glasgow band, "Tut Vu Vu."
The episodes, five in all, are HERE
Thursday, 19 June 2014
Salmond...
When we are independent, we can change the wallpaper.
Salmond is NOT independence.
Do the Tories put you off Westminster? We haven't been able to change them in 50 years.
Thatcherite Tories, Thatcherite UKIP, Thatcherite Lib Dems, Thatcherite New Labour ARE Westminster.
Make your choice.
Monday, 16 June 2014
Walt and Wilf slayed?
Wednesday, 11 June 2014
Aye?
Aye we can!
Can we dae it?
Aye.
Can we dae it?
Who said we cudnae?
Can we dae it?
We'll see.
Can we dae it?
Nae doubt.
Can we dae it?
Ach aye.
Can we dae it?
Ach sure.
Can we dae it?
Why cud we not?
Can we dae it?
Can we not?
Can we dae it?
Are we any different fae them?
Ye cannae dae it.
Who says?
Ye cannae dae it.
Can we not?
Ye cannae do it.
We'll see.
Ye cannae do it.
Ye think so?
You can't do it.
Why not?
You can't do it.
Try us.
You can't do it.
Give us a go.
You can't do it.
Aye we will.
You can't do it.
That's not for you to decide.
You did it?
An' it's not bad, eh?
You did it?
D'ye want tae stay?
You did it.
We did.
Monday, 9 June 2014
RIP bwilliant genius
After a childhood of situation comedies that were dodgy to say the least, and sixties hangover, sexist nonsense from various comedians and double acts, The Dangerous Brothers were, well, dangerous, anarchic and coincided well with my own rebellion.
My comedy rebellion years were populated by Not the Nine O'Clock News, followed by The ComedyStrip Presents and The Young Ones.
Kicking out at the establishment. The punk and post punk of comedy. Satire and just mayhem; adults behaving badly; breaking the rules of what we were fed via the tube, along with The Tube, Morrissey, The Cure, Souxsie and Jools groovy fuckers, Rik and Ade slew the sexist, racist, scapegoating comedy and Sun culture that surrounded us. Thatcher and Major's downfall was partly due to them, every bit as much as the rubber Spitting Image puppets.
Where are the Riks, Ades and Fluck and Law's today? Where is the satire that will save us from the increasingly B'Stard-ised Westminster main parties? B'Stard- the satire Farage modelled himself on.
I wasn't a fan of Bottom etc, but Rik's other, studenty, nerdy but totally dangerous, bordering on insane characters were 'bwilliant,' as one of his best known characters was prone to say. His characters in Blackadder were typically over the top, but genius, and Alan B'stard was surely based on quite a few of the shady Thatcherite, Tory characters who used Scotland's oil in the pretence of promoting their dreadful, community and industry wrecking policies as somehow "successful."
Genius, lefty, alternative, political and yet he managed to wind up all of those who would have lefty pretensions. I'm sorry to see him go. RIP, Wwrick...
Sunday, 1 June 2014
Yes platforming ex-SNP MP Bill Walker?
Lastly came Walker; a man whose name had become synonymous with misogyny, abuse and for causing deep problems within his political party, the SNP. He spoke briefly about his hounding by the Murdoch press and how a cabal led by nasty women had been out to oust him from his party. And then came what everyone in the hall had come to hear; a speech mimicking those shipyard workers and steel workers and miners would have heard all of those pre-Thatcherite years ago from staunch socialists who had cut their teeth in the poverty of the Clydeside backstreets and educated by their unions. A speech of such passion, and volume, ears bled and babies combusted. A speech the Reverend Ian Paisley could have easily delivered from his pulpit if he had have been a socialist as well as a misogynist.
The crowd rose from their seats and applauded wildly as Walker mopped his brow and his pal wiped the spittle coated camera lense, already uploading the triumphant return of Scotland's greatest orator after serving one year of his three year sentence.
There was no space for questions at the end, and the one lone voice who shouted,"Should feminist SSP politicians and Radical Republican's really platform this woman abuser?" was answered by a smiling Emma, "Anything for a Yes, comrade... And he is a great speaker!"
...OK. This isn't entirely true. The SSP do not have a Councillor Emma Daitop (I made it up). The SSP would not platform the woman abuser Walker. Rob McFjord does not exist. And Walker only got a sentence of a year. Tommy Sheridan got three years.
Saturday, 31 May 2014
Light...
The first came from a dog walker I know as I walked around Kilmardinny Loch this morning with Cody, our TV dog (something he is called by one if the other walkers!). She presented her new dog, a really cool looking all black terrier. She got him from a dogs home, where he has been languishing over the past two years. She told me that he has had a really tough time- he had been attacked multiple times and has part of a lip missing and part of an ear and he had been "evidence" in a court case, hence his long impounding. She said she brought him out around our beautiful Loch for the first time yesterday and he couldn't believe the wonderful space, sniffing and running around everywhere as he explored. He looks brilliant, a real wee alert livewire. A smaller version of our own muttley.
The second piece of good news came when I got to the northern part of the loch. The woman who calls Cody "TV dog," was with her elderly mum, seemingly feeding the ducks. I said, 'Hi," and she greeted Cody, as dog owners do, and then pointed out the swan's five new signets! This kind of overwhelmed me. Which is weird, but everyday I have been checking out the female swan, to see if she was off her nest. Their last family left in early 2013, shortly after which they had more eggs that didn't hatch. It had made me feel sad seeing them paddle about the loch having watched them bringing up their last family from eggs and last years disappointment.
Kilmardinny dog walkers- dogs on leads and full alert in foxes in the coming weeks!
A great start to the weekend after a shitey fortnight.
Saturday, 17 May 2014
Happy Days?
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Grown up Fonzie and Fonzie? |
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Cool... with my Fonzie doll... |
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I'll have an 'alf.. and a workers vote for UKIP please... |
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Huggy Bear, the real king of cool... |
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Trying... just too hard... |
Tuesday, 13 May 2014
The Freedom Bike
I was at the Riverside Museum in Glasgow today. This was the highlight. My childhood bike. Mine was purple, but for some reason I think it was a deeper shade.
Everything about this bike is iconic. The crossbar gears, now deemed a health and safety hazard; the big rear wheel and small front one; the deep, plunging handlebars; the long seat and back luggage rack and seat bar- handy for "backies," and the chrome mudguards.
This was a kids cool bike, designed to look cool, not win races or for climbing mountains or pulling and twisting and balancing in some stunt. Though I did all of those. This was the envy of every kid in the estate (well, this and my mates "Grifter.")
The racing bike I got next signalled a new phase in my life; exploring the town, and beyond the boundaries of my childhood. But the Chopper reminds me of heady summer evenings playing bike chasing around Edenvale and Ashgrove; days of freedom and unrestricted laughter, drama and friendship.
Monday, 12 May 2014
The ghost of progression past
Apparently Ed Milimilimilimetreband and new New Labour want the Scots to think that politics stop when a respected leader dies. Pity their politics and respect stopped and stuck with Thatcher and not John Smith.
Tory/UKIP coalition 2015
I said two years ago that we are being set up for a coordinated right wing take over. What a coup!
Plan: Pretend the Libs are the party of protest and use them to deliver a supported first wave tory lite phase. And then as they lose the trust of the lefties and disafected voters who propelled them into the alliance, fund and propel the proto-fascists into the working class areas that are disaffected by Labour's stupid veer towards middle England's hollow views on the economy and immigration.
Scapegoat, and the poor and struggling who cannot lift their heads see only others with their heads down getting a wee bit more. And they hear someone with divisive, evilly hidden reasoning with a plan. And they leave their traditional Labour voting pattern because Labour left them and vote for the party who will help deliver Tory Fully Loaded Phase 2 in 2015.
I said all that two years ago.
Alex Salmond is "selecting Team Scotland"
For the post Yes negotiations, apparently (see the article HERE).
Lets hope he ensures the SSP, Women for Independence, RIC and Greens, who have worked their arses off for Yes are not overlooked in the rush to welcome Lamont, Davidson, Carmichael, Curran and Sarwar in to "Team Scotland."
Do the Nories deserve a place on the team more influential than Colin Fox, Patrick Harvie, Cat Boyd, Jonathon Shafi, Carolyn Leckie, Liam Mclaughlan, Sandra Webster or Frances Curran to take a small sample?
A strong #YesSSP and Green party is the only way to make sure the Nories are not rewarded for OUR work.
If Team Scotland is being convened, Yes Scotland and the groups supporting and working for that should decide who negotiates for us. Not Salmond. We are going to deliver a Yes- it is our vision that is capturing the imagination of the nation. Not Johann's, Willie's or Ruths.
Team Scotland? Let's start talking, Alex.
Gazza Barlow, British Institution...
Take That ... And this... And all that... And a handful of these... And 60 million of those... And i'll turn up and fire the starting pistol for the charity race and take all the credit for raising the cash.
It's a shame children are going through whole days without food, but hey! I'm Gary Barlow who turns up at charity bashes, gives to the wonderful tories (all tax deductable) and writes soppy sloppy gushy music.
And I'll have some of your royal praise an' aw.
Tuesday, 29 April 2014
School report hell
BLOOOODY SCHOOL REPOOOOORTS!
Who fkn reads them with any REAL interest? Why do parents give a fk about little Karen's consonants or Chris's consolodation? What about their fkn happiness? That's what SHOULD be reported and worked on.
Report: Little Connor fkn hates being rooted to a chair for the guts of 5 1/2 hours a day and would rather swim in a river, roll in cow pats and eat worms in truth or dare. Now go change the system or accept that your child is being conditioned for wage slavery, handling the resultant life long depression and dying in a sodden hospital bed with a four stone fat encased liver.
I love teaching.
I do.
Monday, 21 April 2014
I Could be Happy... Redux
A review of Altered Images - I Could Be Happy
Any song that rhymes "free" with "holiday" has to be great.
Altered Images are a group, like many of the alternative groups from the eighties who managed to straddle credibility and success, and are almost always left out from most anthologies of that amazingly musically and pop cultural creative time.
Grogan et al's contribution to the sound that became the dreadfully labelled but gorgeous "brit-pop" popularisation of non-political alt pop ( industry flag wrapped) is undersold.
This song of escape from drudge/abuse a relationship gone wrong/ parents/the UK; who knows what? Is so hopeful and so rebellious, yet so beautifully poppy, how could it fail to be the anthem of the underdog?
The lyrics are so Glaswegian in accent and character, this can be nothing less than a song of hope and independence... "get away, run away, far way, how can I escape from you?"
A pre- referendum wish. A plea for help. A want for a better future.
I used the song as a motif for my own experiences of being bullied and my putting a huge amount of clearish, pinky bluish water between me and the abuse I suffered here
Sunday, 20 April 2014
I was sooo tempted, but...
I was off religion for lent. Stopped it completely.
I stopped accepting that a poor carpenter, who had roamed around a desert with his mates doing good, was nailed to a big piece of wood with the foreknowledge (ENCOURAGEMENT!) of his da' who encouraged him to... In order to stop HIS psychotic urges of drowning and burning people he judged to have broken his rules.
I stopped thinking about the differences between the different hatted people I meet in the street; around coffee tables or in my work. I decided to think of them all as people, not belief systems about beings with super-powers. Weird I know. Especially as some of them are different hues. I stopped judging them for deciding, or accepting the handed down "knowledge" which aspect of these superpowers are most important.
All of this was great over the past 40 days, but I had nothing only car size and post code to help me decide who was worthy of my respect, or who to patronize.
So it is with great relief I can now get back to my belief in Sol. The oldest and truest God of all. And I'll pray for all of you, with your funny hats and Sunday best, that you may see her truth sometime soon, but in the meantime I'll look down my nose at your niavety and blindness.
I'm off to sharpen my knife. These Goats don't sacrifice themselves, you know!
Saturday, 19 April 2014
The Irish Brontë
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Bronte's everywhere... |
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The wonderful FE Mc William's Centre houses some of the artists work; amazing exhibitions AND great food! |
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The schoolhouse Joseph Scriven taught in is scheduled for demolition... Banbridge myopia? |
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Michael Smith's fantastic telling of the story of the remarkable Captain Francis Crozier. A Riveting read. |
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Famous writer and historian, Helen Waddell who is buried at Magherally. |
Thursday, 17 April 2014
I Could Be Happy...
I could be happy, I could be happy…”
We spoke about escape. We spoke about the uncertainty of being thrown into the big world. We spoke about the space between.
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L-R Colin, Me, Roy, Alex 2014 |
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L-R Colin, Alex, Me 1983 |
It really helped me put some of that part of my life into some sort of context. I had, I think, blocked a lot of school out- I had left it far behind, and for reasons that through the years don't matter so much now, and for some reasons that mattered at the time that have ironed themselves out.
Formative years that, more than I would have acknowledged until recently, had a huge effect on everything I did; the choices I made; after I was 16.
Like lots of teenagers, I had jumped out of the restrictions and socialisation of school wholeheartedly. It was, I had thought at the time, a place that had taken the enjoyment out of any learning and life I might have wanted to live.
I could be happy, I could be happy…”
I remember saying to my friend Roy back then, "I want to try EVERYTHING." Meaning all of the things "they" told us not to do, or at least where frowned on by our culture, media and the generation who had reared us. I didn't do "everything," but lots of those things I did do, I realised were quite destructive and negative, not for the non-reasons they told us, but for the sore heads, regrets and pain they caused. Regrets, I've had a few. A few.
I could be happy, I could be happy…”
The memories that meeting with the lads stirred were amazing. Everything from who we had fancied (girls in the class and teachers!).
All of these things I do
To get away from you…”
We remembered the music, the classmates, the school plays, the now long demolished school, the teachers and the head teacher, who, really strangely, as we spoke, walked past our table. I wish I had have spoken to him. He is and was a good man who did a great job in difficult times with a difficult, hard school.
We remembered discos and school plays and trips and books and characters and summer days lounging on the grass "studying."
And after we four parted today, other memories came slamming through. I suppose I realize my bitterness at those 6 hours a day, was really only bitterness at part of the story- part of the day- the rest being actually positive. But I know it is the difficult parts that shaped me- as I scrambled and grabbed at alternatives.
And now, in lots of ways I look from the outside in, but not down, on this wonderful, damaged, recovering, stable beautiful place- a place that if I had stayed I would have continued to kick out at to my detriment. And now I am beginning to look from the outside in on me. Fighting ghosts that were damaged before they damaged me. And now I only see a place, for all its faults, I love. Another place where I feel at home- my first home. A place I am lucky to have. A place I escaped, but now escape to and from. Another choice. A positive one.
My persecution (teenager imagined and real) in many ways was less than those of many, many other people, like the school friend who liked to smile and run and get chased in Primary, whose difficulties with school nowadays would be addressed, but in those days led to being streamed with others with difficulties ranging from social to mental and who suffered badly at the hands of damaged people to the point the stress made him completely shatter both physically and mentally. A victim of harder times.
I was no angel at school. I did get punishments for stupid things I did. None really bad, I don't think. Though I look back on some of what I did; my interactions with some of my school peers with regret. Consequences of my actions on others probably didn't come in to my thinking until my mid twenties. Selfish, stupid. That probably describes a huge part of me back then- and hopefully a much smaller side of me nowadays.
The three guys I met up with, Roy, Colin and Alex had changed little. We are all older and hopefully wiser, and have had the ups and downs life throws at people, and we are steeped in our own beliefs and prejudices, but pre-meeting apprehension and thoughts really gave way to really relaxed and comfortable conversation as I realized they were still essentially, fundamentally the same guys. And I suppose I am still that wee show-off, relatively unstable person- but one who is much more comfortable with who I am - and where I have come from.
Get away, run away, far away, how do I
Escape from you?”